Please wait for me Papang…

That was my last wish on my birthday two years ago.

I could’ve wished for a new phone, a new dress

or any other thing a girl could wish during her birthday

But I didn’t…

I just wished for you to wait so I could hold your hand, hug you tight and kiss you…

Alas, not all wishes come true, do they? I know mine didn’t.

What was supposed to be one of the happiest days of my life

turned out to be the most tragic one – the most devastating one.

Today marks the second year when we finally laid you to rest

The same day when I never got to hold your hand, to hug you tight,

and to kiss you…on my birthday  

I haven’t laughed that much for quite a while

Haven’t cracked the funniest jokes

Haven’t given the sweetest smile

Like you would, Papang…

We shared the same passion in music

Sang many songs together

Danced to the same tune

But all these are gone and no wish could ever bring them back…

I know how much you tried

How much you fought to live

But it was just your time

And I know you are in a better place trying to make my wishes come true.

But I would never be okay and

I could never let you go

It has been hard facing tomorrow without you

And it’s even harder living each day not having you

I truly miss you Pang.

Time will come when we shall be together again.

The time when I can hold you, hug you tight, and kiss you again.

Till then, please be with me always…and that is my wish.

Come give me your sweetness
Now there’s you, there is no weakness
Lying safe within your arms, I’m born again

I was half, not whole
In step with none
Reaching through this world
In need of one

Come show me your kindness
In your arms I know I’ll find this
Woman, don’t you know, with you I’m born again
Lying safe with you I’m born again

Come bring me your softness
Comfort me through all this madness
Woman, don’t you know, with you I’m born again

Come give me your sweetness
Now there’s you, there is no weakness
Lying safe within your arms, I’m born again
Woman, don’t you know, with you I’m born again

I was half, not whole
In step with none
Reaching through this world
In need of one

Come show me your kindness
In your arms I know I’ll find this
Woman, don’t you know, with you I’m born again
Lying safe with you I’m born again
With you I\'m born again – George Benson & Vanessa Williams

Just wanna share this beatiful song entilted Find Yourself by Brad Paisely.

When you find yourself
In some far off place
And it causes you to rethink some things
You start to sense that slowly
You’re becoming someone else
And then you find yourself

When you make new friends in a brand new town
And you start to think about settlin’ down
The things that would have been lost on you
Are now clear as a bell
And you find yourself
Yeah that’s when you find yourself

Where you go through life
So sure of where you’re headin’
And you wind up lost and it’s
The best thing that could have happened
‘Cause sometimes when you lose your way it’s really just as well
Because you find yourself
Yeah that’s when you find yourself

When you meet the one
That you’ve been waitin’ for
And she’s everything that you want and more
You look at her and you finally start to live for some one else
And then you find yourself
That’s when you find yourself

When we go through life
So sure of where we’re headin’
And we wind up lost and it’s
The best thing that could have happened
‘Cause sometimes when you lose your way it’s really just as well
Because you find yourself
Yeah that’s when you find yourself

Back then, we were given two choices: make an original poem or interpret one that’s already created by writers, whether famous or not..and so the bold and daring that I am, I gathered much confidence to create my own…honestly though, I wasn’t even inspired when I created it….believe me, it meant nothing much to me but a single piece of simple literary work…much to my surprise though, it turned out to be a beautiful masterpiece…I got a perfect score! hahaha…Magnum Opus?! pwede! Unfortunately, I lost the original piece…I don’t even remember creating a copy either. And as poignant as it may seem to have lost it, it’s even more depressing that I don’t remember the exact lines I wrote!…huh! “totally disastrous!”…So to cut short my story-telling…let me share to you the poem which I wrote almost 8 years ago…or should I say, something I recalled from the vague memory of it….enjoy…or not…

ALONE

I was in disguised when you met me so many years and tears ago

Whether it was some bright lipstick or forced false bravado

But it doesn’t matter ‘coz you always saw through me …

You know when I’m feeling low

even though I seem to laugh so much

You know when I’m hurting

even though I cannot cry…

But did you really love me?

No, I guess not.

I have seen the doubt in your eyes…

I have sensed your confusion everytime

I distance myself and you pull yourself away.

You have felt my never ending need

to hurt you…

Only to inflict myself more pain on the bargain.

I’ve been confused and I’ve been scared

And so I left thinking my heart would be spared

But I never knew my heart would twinge for so much pain
and for many times my tears fell like rain.

Although I love you with all my heart

I believe we would be better off apart

So please forgive me when I say,

I love you so much but please stay away.

I know I have to go on my own

Sometimes I wish that it wasn’t so lonely

This business of being ALONE…